Goodbye 2016

2016 have been a year with ups and downs.

2016 were the year where I got accepted to the education that I have always wanted. I was finally ready to start having a “normal” life, just like my friends. I was in a good place and I wasn’t no longer scared to go outside or be alone – not as much as I used to be. I was ready, I was happy.

But three days before I had to start my education, something terrible happened. I was assaulted. A man grabbed my arm and hold me and tried to drag me into the woods in the middle of the night. I was on my way home from my boyfriend and i remember him asking me “Do you want me to follow you home? I can if you want me to.” But I told him I would be fine. But I was wrong.

I ended up talking to the police and my family for hours. I didn’t close my eyes that night and I stopped talking to people I would normally talk to. I couldn’t stop crying and I didn’t wanted to do anything but lay in my bed all days. I couldn’t stop showering, because I felt his hands all over me, even weeks after it happened.

I couldn’t start on the education I always have been dreaming about. I was at home for a month or two, doing absolutely nothing. But I thought I was ok again, so I got into another school, a school I went to in 2015. But I wasn’t ok. I got “kicked out”. I wasn’t ready and they couldn’t help me.

So now I’m back where I started. Doing nothing, scared, depressed, anxious etc.

But 2016 were also the year where I met my boyfriend, Nicolai. Or that’s kind of a lie- we actually met in 2015, but we started talking in 2016. We started as friends – we were together a lot and we actually liked each other, but didn’t know what the other person thought, so we didn’t say anything.

But now we have been together for 7 months January 1st. I’m so lucky to have him as a part of my life and he is willing to to what ever he can to make me feel good.

He knows me more than anybody else. And he’ll do everything to make me smile and make me feel safe. I’m so thankful for having him in my life.

2016 were the year when I stopped talking to a girl that I really like and really care about. A friend that I’m so thankful to have. But we kind of got in to a fight for some stupid reasons and didn’t talked for months. But I contacted her and we decided to try and start over. And now we’re talking like we never stopped. I’m so happy to have her back.

2016 have also been the year with a lot of laughs and smiles. A lot of memories that I’ll never forget. Long car journeys with my dad and brother, funny moments with my mom, lots of games and singing with my little sister.

I’m still depressed and I still have anxiety. And yes, I also have PTSD. And that’s something that ruins a lot, but I think everything has happened or is happening for a reason, and I might not be happy all the time – but when I do, I really enjoy it and appreciate it.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in 2017 and of someone gave me the chance to find out, I wouldn’t take it. Even if I could find out if I’m going to feel better, I wouldn’t take it. There is a reason for everything, and that’s not something we should change – if you know what I mean.

2017 – I can’t wait to see what you are going to bring me.

Happy New Years!

// Sarah Katrine

Instagram – sarahkatrinekat

Mail – sarahkatblog@gmail.com